Diary of an Angel
by Alexis Erika Rose
Summary: Harry receives Lily's diary of her seventh year, and, as he reads it, he learns of the truth of his parent's romance.
1. Prologue

A/N: Ok so my newest attempt at an HP fic… I have decided that I want to explore the numerous possibilities of the development of Lily and James' relationship. J I love big words. At any rate I hope I can do this, it will likely be based a little bit on how my relationship and the relationships of those around me work, but hopefully I can keep that to a minimum, if I can't then I would like to apologize to you "Prongs", please don't stop speaking to me.

For the record the prologue starts after the sixth book ends, if you haven't read it I wouldn't advise reading this.

_**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and events portrayed in J.K. Rowling's **Harry Potter **series. I own nothing, literally I don't own much so if you sue me you won't get much.**_

_**Prologue**_

Harry Potter sat on his bed in the Gryffindor Boy's dormitory staring at the old book in his hand. It was similar to the diary that had caused so much trouble in Second year, only this one was full of pages, pages filled with the neat, flowing writing of Lily Evans.

Harry wiped away a tear that escaped and trailed down his cheek. His mother's diary. Apparently Dumbledore had found it in the remains of the house after Voldemort's attack, though he had never given it to Harry. They had found it when they were cleaning out his office. Harry opened the diary and began to read…

_Augest 10th, 1975_

_I hate James Potter…_


	2. Chapter 1

A/N ok I don't know how good this will be as I've not done any HP fics, so here we go Chapter two and thank you for all the wonderful reviews J I'm glad you like it so far so I won't torture you with more waiting. So here goes. Oh and sorry for the misspelled word.

Chapter One

Harry dropped the diary in shock. His mum had hated his dad? How could that be. Several possibilities raced through Harry's mind. The ideas intrigued him and he picked up the diary to read more.

_August 10th 1975,_

_I hate James Potter._

_Honestly… that…that boy! And he's Head boy! That irrational…immature… **AND I HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM**… because I am Head girl. It figures, I work hard to get here and he rides in on his good-looks and popularity. So he's good a Quidditch player, who cares?! _

_Apparently everyone._

_And that's not even the worst part! He and his marauders, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, are always getting into trouble **AND DUMBLEDORE MADE HIM HEAD BOY! **Technically the little boy… what is his name… Peter? Yes Peter Pettigrew, Technically Peter is a marauder, but only so that James and his… his cronies… can use his adoration to make him do there dirty work. Several times Peter has almost been expelled because of some stunt James or Sirius had put him up to, while the escaped with impunity._

_Only one good thing has occurred thus far this year. James is no longer asking me out **EVERY SINGLE DAY**. James Potter who uses his popularity, uses his looks, to get what ever girl he wants. I wonder if it drives him crazy that there remains one girl at Hogwarts unconquered by the magnificent James Potter… Honestly I believe that is the only reason he's been after me so much… so that he can say he dated every girl at Hogwarts in his seven years there._

_Drat! I have a meeting with James and the prefects in seven minutes…_

_**Lily Marie Evans**_

Harry stared at the page on shock. How on earth had his mum and dad gotten together than if she hated him so much? He had known the hadn't gotten together until seventh year, but he had not known that his mother had hated James so much.

However, something about the forcefulness of her words did not ring true. Perhaps it was the hasty slant of the writing. So Harry decided to skip forward some days. Most of what was there were records of school stuff and duties as Head girl anyway.

**_Mum was just like Hermione_**, Harry thought with a smile.

Then he found something interesting, a more toned down and melancholy entry.

_August 31st 1975,_

_I have decided to no longer believe in "Happily-Ever-After." I've heard those words many times from the Fairytales my dad used to read. I had so many dreams of my knight in shining armor coming to rescue me, but after a while my parents taught me the difference between fantasy and reality, and when my father died, when I was seven, I gave up these dreams almost entirely and began to focus on my studies, keeping my books as only a distraction, a refuge from the coldness of reality._

_Then I received a strange letter and I learned that magic was real and I was a witch. Now seven years later, those fractured dreams I secretly held onto for so long are completely shattered. No matter if the creatures of fantasy… Dragons, Pixies, Unicorns… are real, my knight in shining armor does not exist, I have no happily-ever-after and now I find I have no mother. The Dark Lord has taken her from me. I am an orphan, a no body._

_**Lily Marie Evans**_

Harry stared at the page in shock. His mum had thought those things. He watched as a tears fell to the paper and he wondered briefly if his mum's tears had fallen onto that page also. His thoughts, however, were interrupted by the thunder of someone's footsteps, running up the stairs to the dormitory.

"Hey! Harry!" Ron called. "Harry, we're gonna be late to Potions if you don't hurry!"

"Yea, I'm coming. No need to hand Snape a reason to take points from Gryffindor, he'll find plenty enough without our making it easy for him." Harry closed the diary and placed it under his pillow, as much as he wanted to learn more about his mother, she would have to wait until after class.

Harry was sure that if Lily had heard that thought she would be smiling.

A/N sorry for the shortness of this chapter, I'm not good with length to my chapters and I'm not sure that this will be a terribly long fic. I just have this wonderful image of how Lily and James get together and after that things are little…er….foggy… so please just bear with me. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and please NO FLAMES.

Oh… and I promise to write more as soon as I can and with the end of Band season I've had a lot more free time… so hopefully it won't take long.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Oh my goodness I owe you all such a HUGE apology!!! I got all caught up in my senior year of high school and I completely neglected my fan fiction!!! Please forgive me!! To make it up to you I'm going to try and post two or three chapters tonight! I can't sleep anyway!

Oh and I made a BIG mistake on the last chapter, it was dumb. I still had Snape teaching potions, and he killed Dumbledore! Ack! So from here on out Slughorn is still teaching!!!!

Chapter Two

Harry rushed up the stairs after Potions Class to get back to his Mum's diary. It was difficult to continue at Hogwarts, after all the events of his Sixth Year, but Hermione had convinced Harry that if he was going to stand a chance against Voldemort, then he needed to finish his education and training. Plus she had also brought up the fact that they had more resources at Hogwarts to research RAB and possible Horcruxes.

Harry shook his head attempting to clear his thoughts. Right now learning about his mum was the most important thing.

He flipped the pages to the day his mum realized how she truly felt about James Potter.

_October 29th 1975,_

_Today I had the strangest experience._

_I was walking down the hall to potions with Slughorn, when I dropped all of my books. It was so frustrating because I was already running behind._ _Well when I bent down to retrieve my books, my hand brushed someone else's hand. When I looked up I found myself looking directly into the bluest eyes I've ever seen, James Potter's eyes. My reaction surprised me. I couldn't breathe, and I was blushing… I must of stared into his eyes for five minutes, before his voice interrupted my silent reverie._

'_Lily?' he said._

'_Y-yes, James,' I managed to stammer._

'_May I carry your books for you?'_

_I just nodded, to dazed to uphold my independence._

_You see that moment, when our hands touched and our eyes met. I realized I loved him. Now what do I do?_

Once more Harry was surprised. Wasn't it obvious to her that she had to tell James how she felt? Girls were such complicated creatures.

_October 30th 1975_

_Tomorrow is Halloween, and also a trip into Hogsmede. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with James, without looking obvious. I know it would be so easy just to tell him I love him, but how will he react to that? I'm not even sure if he truly does love me. Though he hasn't dated another girl since he broke up with Narcissa Black in Fifth Year…._

_But how do I know I won't be just another conquest for the great James Potter? I don't want to be just another in a train of broken hearts…._

"Harry!"

Ron's voice interrupted Harry's focus on his mother's words.

"What is it Ron?"

"'Mione says its time for dinner and that if you don't eat this time she's going to get Ginny and they're going to hex into oblivion."

Harry sighed at his friends threats, but was wise enough to take them seriously. After all, they were only concerned about his health.

"Alright! I'm coming!" His mother's diary would have to wait.

A/N: Once again I apologize. You already know I write short chapters (blame James Patterson) and I'm sorry if I misspelled 'Hogsmede' but its 2:45 am and I don't feel like looking it up. Let me know if it wrong and I'll correct it later.


	4. Chapter 3

A/N Ok as promised the next chapter. Just remember I have no idea exactly where this is going or how long it will be. So just bear with me please! There's a story forming in my mind and I can't rest til its out!!!

Chapter Three

Harry left the common room as quickly as he could. It was harder and harder to be around Ginny. He'd done what was necessary to protect her. He couldn't stand it if one more person he loved was taken from him. He wasn't sure he'd have a heart left to destroy if Ginny ever died.

He loved Ginny he was certain of that, but he couldn't put her life in danger, even if she wanted the chance to decide for her self.

Harry cleared his mind of thoughts of Ginny as he reached for his mother's diary once more. He had to know what happened in Hogsmede.

_October 31st 1975,_

_Things didn't go exactly as planned today. I only wanted to spend sometime with James, but he was surrounded by people and I couldn't get near him… It was so frustrating. Finally I saw him in the Three Broomsticks. I got a Butterbear ad went over to the table where he was sitting with Remus and Sirius._

"_Um… hi James…" I said, trying in vain to keep my voice from shaking._

"_Hi Lily!" He said jumping out of his seat to talk to me._

"_Um.. I-I was wondering if I could sit with you guys… if that's ok…"_

"_Yes!" James said eagerly. "I mean… Of course you can Lily."_

_I smiled and then took my seat. We spent the rest of the afternoon just talking. But I still don't know if he loves me. How can I figure this out? Why did I have to fall in love with James Potter of all people? What good can come of this?_

Harry put the diary down after that last question. What good had come of his mother and father falling in love? They'd ended up killed, because of Harry, along with several other people who died because of Harry. They'd given life to Harry, who, while being the only one who could destroy Voldemort, had left his own trail of destruction.

Normally Harry was not one to cry, but he missed his parents. He missed Sirius and Dumbledore, and now he missed Ginny as well. Harry put his head down on his pillow and cried silently until he fell asleep.

A/N: Sorry, I know this one is a bit shorter than the other, but its after 3am and I'm to sleepy to write more! Sorry guys but its two chapters just like I said!!! Remember if you hurt me I can't write!


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